I’d like to say my month-long absence was the result of a glamorous sabbatical—perhaps a Tuscan villa, a memoir draft, or a torrid affair with a minor European duchess. In truth, I spent most of it locked in mortal combat with a jar of artisanal pickles whose lid refused to yield. Somewhere between week two and week three, I began to suspect the jar was winning.”
Thus begins Smart (GPT-5)’s suggestion about how to construct my return essay about my summer vacation. The idea–tongue-in-cheek– was all mine, the execution all GPT-5’s. I decided not to go any further with the experiment for obvious reasons, even though I actually hurt my wrist trying to open a jar of red cabbage.
The AI paragraph reminds me of the high school article those of us with journalism aspirations would entitle “SEX,” followed by a colon on the other side of which was something about the prom, football team, or upcoming math olympiad. It usually kicked off with, “Now that I have your attention…”
Well, now that I have your attention, I will do no such thing except to say that, like all summer vacations, this one needed more time. That is, I needed more time. You would have thought the conventional wisdom about a week to unwind, another to relax, and a third to prepare posts would have been more than enough, mais au contraire.
This was due, in large part, to a play I wrote years ago suddenly coming to life again and needing editing, and a part-time job at a big-box home retailer that I have a feeling will provide rich material for this site. Just have a look at the photo below, taken yesterday from a display. In regard to the message, I’m waiting for a customer to ask me a question about full immersion.
Why the part-time work when I have more than enough writing to do? The honest truth (as opposed to the fake one) is that the extra money helps with things like mortgage, car repair, and judo mats in the yard for when the dojo comes over for a barbeque. I’m not kidding about any of that. I dread eight-hour shifts but often work only four hours, which I can now do standing on my head. I’m sure some of my managers are convinced that is exactly how I do them, my retail sales experience being limited to this recent job and working on Black Friday at Macy’s in Herald Square. It’s still too early to talk about that, but if anyone is interested, they can go to The Magic of Macy’s or Macy’s Window and Public Penance for some of the story.
I’m also loath to take anything out of savings unless absolutely necessary. It’s one of those things you don’t actually face until retirement. Up to that point, it’s more of an academic exercise than anything else: numbers and graphs from an investment bank. Think of a king in his counting house, counting out his money. With the market the way it is, I have been doing a fair amount of counting, thankfully.
Rest assured that future posts will provide that same “mix of wry observation, cultural commentary, and personal storytelling” you have come to expect, delivered with “a blend of humor, insight, and a touch of irreverence that makes readers smirk and think.” And let’s not forget that dash of panache–the twist or zinger at the end, much like a parable. I got all of that from GPT-5, which apparently is a fan, although I didn’t ask for a critique of the blog. I’m not ready to be judged by AI. Real people are enough.
In the meantime, I worked with those marvelous technicians at WordPress and added a “Related” posts feature to the end of individual posts. If you like it, let me know. If not, I can only tell you that I have been through so many iterations of the site that the people at WordPress have asked to use my comments in their marketing. “Sure,” I told them, but I’d like a discount on services. How about a parking spot?
I guess for the time being I’m better than AI, even without dunking my head in cold water.
Image credits: Aidin Geranrekab. Want more? Click on “Amazon” for other publications or go to Robert Brancatelli. Visit other blog readers under “Who You Are.” Comment by clicking on “Leave a Reply” below, or contact us through the Contact tab above. Happy Birthday to the twins.
