They say that the older you get, the faster time goes by. It makes sense. When you’re ten, a year lasts forever. It’s a different story at forty. This is related to theoretical physics, which holds that time increases with … Continue reading Time is Back on My Side
During Christmas in 1982, I fell in love. The object of my affection was a 1960 pink Chrysler Imperial. I spotted it one day a few blocks from our house. It was parked in the street and had a “For … Continue reading An Imperial Christmas
I went bowling a few weeks ago. I am not a bowler. I lose interest too quickly, not because it is slow-paced but because I just don’t get it. But bowling is not to blame. I don’t get a lot … Continue reading Bowling & Other Mysteries
The two most perplexing decisions I have to make every day are how much facial hair to keep and which hat to wear. Since these are fundamental decisions that touch the core of one’s being, I do not make them … Continue reading A Chapeau To Go
There I was on the Metro to White Plains, New York, minding my own business, as I am wont to do, when I couldn’t help but notice a poster advertising “no-needle, no-scalpel, minimally invasive” vasectomies. My first reaction, naturally enough, … Continue reading Accidental Voyeurs of America
I just saved a bunch of money. Not only that, but I’m about to become fashionable again. My tailor, Tony, won’t like it, but I know he’ll respect my desire to dress alla moda. You see, I won’t be asking … Continue reading All About Wide Pride
This week I got an email from my “friends at IFTTT” informing me that I had to reconnect my Google Drive to API and I’d better do it PDQ or else I would miss out on something “awesome.” I stared … Continue reading English, S’il Vous Plaît!